Sometimes one of the hardest things about growing up is losing friends. It’s happened to everyone; I have never met someone that has kept the same friends since birth. It’s rare to actually find that movie perfect friendship, especially when everyone is constantly changing. I’ve lost a lot of friends over the years for many different reasons, some I didn’t quite know why until now.

I think a major reason people lose friends is that our preferences change. Those changes usually happen around middle school and high school, the years when you are supposed to be “finding yourself.” A lot of people go through a dark phase that pushes them away from the friends that don’t. There should be some sort of commonality between friends; if there isn’t, then people seek that connection with someone else. Humans long to share; share achievements, children, a house, etc. They need to share conversations about their interests, or even share the joy they get while doing an activity.

Sometimes one friend becomes toxic. This is one of the worst things to happen in a friendship because it hurts both parties involved. I recently went through some experience with this. I had to cut off a friend of mine because she was really starting to make me hate myself. I couldn’t do anything right or have any good thing happen in my life without her finding a way to make me feel terrible about it. When I finally decided that enough was enough, I was somewhat relieved, but I mostly felt bad. Sometimes it just has to be like that. It’s better if it goes out like that instead of ending with a fight. One thing is for certain, the best friendships won’t end because of petty arguments.